A short list of demands for the year 2015

Listen, 2015. You seem like a nice year. Everyone has high hopes for you, especially after these past 12 rotten months. There has been entirely too much hatred, violence, death, sadness, failure, loneliness, drought, natural disasters, heartbreak, boredom, poorness, and way too many lost airplanes over Malaysia. What’s up?! 2014 has, we must admit, been a shitty year. I for one hate to admit defeat. I’ve never proclaimed a year as “bad”. But, c’mon. Even I’m saying uncle! And it’s almost over. We all still have hope, us people of planet Earth. We can do better. You can do better, 2015!

We want all of the things 2014 did not give us. We demand it! It has to be better. It can’t possibly be worse! We should all be improving as the years and decades go on. We need nice people, communicative people, caring people. Smart people. A community of one mind, or hundreds of minds — even better — to talk and get along and make things happen, make improvements! Every year should move us forward. So, we’ve got a lot of work to do, 2015. We’ve got an extra year’s worth (at least) to make up for. Are you listening, 2015? Everyone? Pay attention! We’ve only got a few days left to think this over.