I am a fucking child of snow.
I flew into Detroit the day before Christmas eve and saw the blanket of white covering our bit of Earth. Veins of streets that had already been plowed and salted and driven over fearlessly. Strong winter people.
I had a window seat and as we landed I watched the world tilt and wrote poems in my head about the lines and the white and the snowy trees; “Thin but sturdy mother fuckers who hold their weight in frost every year.”
No wonder we are better at living our lives than those sunny Californians. Not living through seasons seems like the equivalent of being an only child.
I would like to tell him to stop listening to the songs I sent him. I would like to tell him to forget me. I would like to pretend none of it ever happened. Cover it with snow and let it melt away in the sun a few weeks from now.
I am a strong person. And weak. I am a snow-covered tree.
Seasons are reliable. Unreliable weather is reliable. My memory is bad. My sight is getting worse. I am old and still have no idea where I’m going and it’s getting harder to see.
I love you but it is cold and California is far away.
1. I wish I was cool enough to say “big ups”.
2. Stop assuming he/or she hates you. Just ask, then you’ll know for sure that they do!
3. Let’s all love and care about each other a little more this year.
4. You don’t have to know what you want to be when you grow up! You never have to know! Next time someone asks you what “career” you want, just throw a flower/balled up piece of paper/dollar/smile at them and run away!
5. Romania is “in” this year. Let’s go! Are you buying me the plane ticket? I only do window seats. Thanks!
6. For the past month, I’ve suspected that 2014 is going to be good. Now I hear that Paolo Nutini is releasing a new album this year! Fantastic. April 14th, where are you?
7. Not all stories have happy endings.
8. The only thing more interesting than art students is their hair.
9. No, really, what are we supposed to do with all these Beanie Babies??
10. Put a dollar bill (or the equivalent, international friends!) under someone’s windshield wiper the next time you’re in a parking lot. Do it! Then tell me about it.
1. Some places just feel like your place, be it cities or streets or rooms or continents or the back seat of someone else’s car.
2. Crazy neighbors are always more entertaining than any movie. Why go out when you can stay in? Why sleep when you can listen to screaming at 3AM? Exactly.
3. Ever spend so much time in one room you’re not sure if anything other than said room exists or ever existed? Me too.
4. If the cute boy getting on your megabus doesn’t sit on the top floor, it wasn’t meant to be anyway. He probably chose a first floor seat away from the window. Who does that?!
5. You can’t force moments or love or laughter. These things just happen. Go take a nap.
6. Sometimes leaving feels like dying. Sometimes leaving is the only thing that will keep you alive.
7. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get somewhere if it’s worth it.
8. People are different but also the same. Remember that the next time you meet someone new.
9. Remember when you had to create a “four year plan” in school? Well, my current four year plan is to be like James Franco and do everything there is to do. He’s crazy. It’s great.
10. “Only human” means everything and nothing.