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Today I was talking to my friend about graduating college – a thing he and I both are going to experience here pretty soon – May 5th, 2013, to be exact. He was telling me his post-graduation plans, and I was keeping quiet about my own. I don’t really know yet where I’m going go, what I’m going to do. I also told him that the more college classes I take, the less intelligent I feel.

I think there’s a lot of different ways you can take that statement. It can mean that I’ve realized how unintelligent I am, or how bad at college I am – But that’s not what I meant.

I meant that the more college classes I take – the more information I take into my brain, the more subjects I get exposed to, the more history I find out about, the more people I learn about that I previously didn’t know existed – the more unintelligent I feel. I’m graduating from college soon, but I don’t feel like I know very much at all.

As my graduation date approaches, I’m beginning to wish I would have double-majored. Or took a third minor. Or majored in Theatre, or Linguistics, or French, or Biology. I’m not done learning – I don’t think I ever will be. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I know enough – like I’m intelligent enough.

Sure, I could keep going to school for forever – for the rest of my life. Maybe I would do that, if it didn’t cost thousands of dollars per year. But people don’t go to college to learn, they go to get jobs.

So, in order to keep learning, without going to college – what do I do? How do keep experiencing things in my life  which will improve my understanding of the world? Or the universe? How can I feel like each day is improving the person that I am?

Do I just have to find a job that I like? That makes me happy? Do I just use my college education for what it’s meant for: getting a higher-than-minimum-wage-paying job?

Do I travel? Do I meet and talk to new people as often as possible? Do I read books and blogs and listen to podcasts and radio programs and watch cool movies?

What do I do?

Once they had me that scrap of slightly-thicker-than-normal paper with my name on it, what do I do?

It’s about to happen again. Brace yourself. I’m about to quote… me.

I was flipping through an old notebook when I found it: a page in-between notes about philosophy. Wandering thoughts after classes and late at night – I have them a lot. Here’s one from 4-17-12 at 2AM. (Yes, I dated it and time-stamped it, too. It’s another thing I do – in addition to quoting myself.)

No one is ever happy with where they are. Americans want to live in England, Canadians dream of Ireland; all while the English pine for the USA and the Irish gaze longingly across the sea. Beauty is all around us. Happiness can be found anywhere. We all just want control over our own lives – any control at all, whatever we can get. We believe with all our hearts that our lives will be better spent elsewhere, so we spend all our lives looking for that better place. Those who claim to be content with their lives aren’t, really. They’re fooling themselves – lying outright and believing every word. You’re not content – you’re stupid. You’re pretending. You’re stuck. You’ve convinced yourself that changing your life in any way would cause you harm. And that might be so – but not changing is far worse. Living a life unhappy – what was that for? What do you get out of that? Can anyone really be content, living that way? If so, I feel sorry for you. Yet, someone has got to do it. The world needs McDonald’s workers, dog groomers, cashiers. Someone has got to do it. Not me – so, you? Or, move to Ireland. Which sounds better?

Oooh, harsh. I think there’s truth in this, though. What do you think? Throw some quotes at me!