nice | Hey Infinity

1. How to not make friends: refer to someone as “ethically flexible”. Oops.

2. There are a lot of terrible things happening in the world. People are allowed to talk about/mention/feel sad about different things, even if you feel like those things are not as important/tragic/terrible as the things you think are terrible/tragic/important. Just like people are allowed to be happy, even though there are terrible things happening. No one has to wallow in all of the misery at once. You are not the director of the world’s actions. You don’t get to proclaim what’s important and what’s not. Basically, shut up!

3. sometimes it is forever; other times it is nothing at all.

4. Do some people just enjoy being cynical? I can’t understand it. How can you even have the energy to be so mean-spirited, hateful, angry, blunt, wrong, foolish? Does it give you some kind of pride? Does it make you happy? Does it feel like you’re doing the right thing? Are you lashing out at some unknown attacker? What are you doing?! What. Are. You. Doing. Just stop! Good grief. Do you need a hug?

5. At some point, no matter how nice/funny/smart/good-looking someone is, the little things they’ve done or said that you’ve disliked in a deep-down sort of way add up. And it’s sad, heart-breaking, whatever. But it happens. And they just aren’t the person you thought they were/you didn’t know who they were to begin with.

6. good things from the past month of my life: sparklers in the middle of the road at midnight, polite strangers, tiny presents of tiny stickers from tiny children, mail from Panama and America, learning possessives in French (but please don’t ask me to actually prove it!).

7. You can do it all differently tomorrow.

8. Orange Is the New Black is a great show! I never believe it. It’s always true.

9. It’s real fun living in the middle of a giant city, especially at night, when you hear murderous screams/manic laughter from outside your window and you’re never sure if it’s either or both or just a crazy alley cat.

10. We’re more than halfway through the year, World, and I’m not really sure if we’re being any kinder to each other. Let’s try harder. Let’s all keep going.

I went to bed at 1AM this morning. It was a strange night of me sleeping and then waking up every hour or so to go pee. I think I ate too much watermelon.

Twice when I awoke, thoughts popped into my head. This was strange because usually when I wake up it’s more like me struggling out of bed, groggy, grumpy, and tired. These little thoughts were very clear, very simple. I was surprised by their honesty and their simplicity.

My first thought was this:

“There are so many amazing, creative people here in this world and it doesn’t seem to support them very much. It could be a much better place.”

That was at 4AM. Then I went back to sleep.

A few hours later, I awoke, and thought,

“I could go biking today. I can fit my bike in the back of my truck now. I could go to the park and go biking. It would be good exercise. Maybe my little brother will come. I should go biking.”

Then, I went back to sleep. It is a wonderful thing to have the freedom to wake up, think little, important thoughts, and then dive deep down into your pillows once more.