learning french | Hey Infinity

1. Take what you can get. Something is definitely better than nothing.

2. It all depends on proximity and timing.

3. People are never going to act the way you assume they will. If you stop expecting people to live up to your expectations, you’ll be a lot happier, and live a better life.

4. Nothing lasts forever. Including friendships/relationships. People leave, or move on, and it’s ok. Even if you KNOW that the person you’re spending time with won’t be in your life for too long, you should still be happy and be with them and treat them like a great human being who you’re happy to be with, for however long you’ll be in each other’s lives.

5. Do something today you’ve never done before.

6. Seriously, I am super funny. I just wish you could understand how funny I am. I am so funny.

7. “Smile! Don’t look so depressed, it’ll be OK!” – guy outside the drug store, to my retreating self. Uh, two things. First of all, no one smiles all the time, so why should I be smiling as I walk out of a rite aid? Second, rite aid does not carry muffins, so why the hell would I be smiling/not looking depressed as I walk out of my local rite aid at nine in the morning, muffin-less?!

8. I’m (re-)learning French on this super cool app I just got on my phone (Duolingo). Je suis une femme blanche. So useful! I’m off to France!

9. Do people really listen to the radio these days? I don’t believe it. Who are you?

10. The closest anyone can come these days to visiting another planet is to go to any Home Depot late at night. Just try it. This sort of thing you just have to experience first-hand.

Folks, we have a problem. Well, I do, anyway. And google isn’t helping! (Which saddens me; Google knows everything! right?)
So, there’s this guy…
Wait, no, let’s start over. (this is going poorly already!)
Here’s what I wanted to find in my recent googling, yet failed to find:

How to let a guy down easy:

Move far away. Maybe to France. Does he speak French?
Delete your facebook. Twitter, too. Throw your cell phone in a nearby body of water (even though you didn’t give him your number — right??)
Change your name. Get a sex change. Shave off all of your hair and tattoo your entire body.
“Tell him the Truth.”

Ok, seriously. This is my version of what can be found on this topic on the internets. The first “best” choices? LIE YOUR HEAD OFF.

None of this is easy. It’s easy to ask, “How can I let him down easy?” It’s easy to decide that you’re just going to tell him the Truth (because you already tried learning French and that’s just not gonna happen). But the next time you run into the guy (or, uh, he runs into you,) you have to actually look him in the face and, um, talk to him. Lying is easier in person than talking about feelings. (God, why does this happen so much? Why are there so many lists of choices out there that women can make when faced with this problem?)

Ok, guys, (boys. males.) listen up. If you ask a girl out, proclaim your love for her, etc, and she goes:”…….umm…….”. Well, that’s probably a bad sign. Maybe not. Maybe she’s thinking about your wedding already.

However, if you continue your attempts at wooing her, to no avail, she doesn’t want you to woo her. Stop that.

Don’t keep asking her on dates. Don’t say shit like, “Well, if you won’t answer me today, I’ll just come back tomorrow.” Or, “I can tell that you’re avoiding me. Gee, why are you so shy?”

If a girl wants to date you, if she thinks you’re attractive, she will get with that. Trust me. Trust me, I’m a girl, I know these things. Her avoiding you? That’s not flirting. That’s not a sign to keep at ‘er.

How to let a guy down easy? I have no idea. No wonder Google was so unhelpful! Here’s a better question: Why can’t guys sense when girls are trying to let them down easy?