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Tag Archives: internet

1. Take what you can get. Something is definitely better than nothing.

2. It all depends on proximity and timing.

3. People are never going to act the way you assume they will. If you stop expecting people to live up to your expectations, you’ll be a lot happier, and live a better life.

4. Nothing lasts forever. Including friendships/relationships. People leave, or move on, and it’s ok. Even if you KNOW that the person you’re spending time with won’t be in your life for too long, you should still be happy and be with them and treat them like a great human being who you’re happy to be with, for however long you’ll be in each other’s lives.

5. Do something today you’ve never done before.

6. Seriously, I am super funny. I just wish you could understand how funny I am. I am so funny.

7. “Smile! Don’t look so depressed, it’ll be OK!” – guy outside the drug store, to my retreating self. Uh, two things. First of all, no one smiles all the time, so why should I be smiling as I walk out of a rite aid? Second, rite aid does not carry muffins, so why the hell would I be smiling/not looking depressed as I walk out of my local rite aid at nine in the morning, muffin-less?!

8. I’m (re-)learning French on this super cool app I just got on my phone (Duolingo). Je suis une femme blancheSo useful! I’m off to France!

9. Do people really listen to the radio these days? I don’t believe it. Who are you?

10. The closest anyone can come these days to visiting another planet is to go to any Home Depot late at night. Just try it. This sort of thing you just have to experience first-hand.

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1. If you got to know that person you don’t understand/know very well, maybe you’d find someone like  yourself. Maybe you’d understand them, maybe you could even be friends. If not, at least you tried to be sympathetic and not an apathetic asshole. More people should be like you!

2. Don’t worry – having weird/awkward experiences will just make you a better/more interesting person in the end! You’ll have the best stories to tell.

3. If someone asks for your help, before you answer them, ask yourself this: if they needed me to do this right now, would I do it? Reply accordingly.

4. No one wants to hear about how cute/smart/funny your pets/children are. They don’t care and they desperately wish you would stop talking so they could stop attempting to look interested.

5. That boy doesn’t know that you’re interested in him – and why is that? Because you’re attempting to show him that you’re interested by avoiding eye contact. AKA, by showing that you’re not interested. Er, what? Either take what you want, or don’t.

6. Stop telling me to smile. Why would I walk around with a smile plastered to my face? I’m not upset, this is just how my face looks! Life isn’t all smiles – so leave me and my face alone!

7. Is it bad that I always assume you’re drunk after 9PM?

8. I currently have a hidden stash of christmas presents in my room that are for my family members. I’m like a creepy hoarder santa!

9. Don’t you come on my website, comment on my About page, and then leave. Um, no. That’s not how we do it here, and your attempt at self-promotion has now been deleted. #getoutstayout

10. People who use hash tags when they are somewhere other than on Twitter really irk me.

1. I can’t stand fancy salads. Arugula? Really?

2. I wouldn’t say that if I could be any animal I would be a squirrel, but, if you forced me to be a squirrel, I really wouldn’t be that angry at you!

3. My dad is starting to listen to music that I listen to and it is starting to scare me. Jack White is mine!

4. Did you just refer to me as an artist? Um – thank you!

5. Do you say “on accident” or “by accident”?? I say “on accident”, and my family calls me out on it every time! It turns out – both are correct. Oh, words. I love you!

6. It turns out those crunchy bean-looking things I put on my salad were soy nuts. I ate soy! I’m a healthy person now!

7. I need a hair cut. Will you give me a haircut? Wait – how do you spell haircut? Hair cut? Haircut.

8. Don’t look for love where you know you shouldn’t.

9. Does anybody really ever not use the same password for every website on the internet?

10. My bathroom could be used in an Garnier Fructis commercial. Because I have a lot of Garnier Fructis stuff. Did you get that?

I’m turning 21 in less than a week.

And, I bet I can guess what image just popped into your head: Young people going out, celebrating, getting drunk, smashed, hammered, etc.

Right? Welcome to the socially acceptable 21st birthday jamboree in the USA!

Happy 21st! Hope you enjoy this birthday — it’s all downhill from here!

What do I say to that?

Boring.

I’m not a drinker. The thought that I’ll be “legal”, able to buy myself a drink at midnight, doesn’t excite me.

I hope to spend my 21st anniversary of life in a different way.

That said, I’m not sure what I should do – 21 is the drinking birthday. That’s all the internet guides talk about – bar hopping, getting people to buy you drinks, gift ideas which involve fancy cocktail glasses…

Last year I had a really great birthday: I went to the Detroit Zoo. Even though I didn’t get to see the Giraffes (that costs extra!), I still liked wandering around. Then, I went to the movies. Then, I had ice cream with one of my long-time friends. It was an all-day celebration with people I loved. And that’s what I think birthdays are good for. Not pondering your ever-increasing old age (I mean, my god, I’m going to be 21! I’m freaking ancient!) Being happy, surrounded by your friends and/or family, and celebrating your life!

I guess all this “OMG You’re TWENTY-ONE? You know what that means!” business is ruffling my happy-birthday-feathers. So what if I can drink now? I mean, sure, that’s great, in four more days America will trust me with alcohol. Thanks, America!

Yippee, goody-goody. I’d rather spend my B-day exploring some new city,  or playing Catch Phrase with every awesome person I’ve ever met (I LOVE Catch Phrase!), or lying on a grassy knoll at night staring up at the stars and discussing the meaning of life, the universe, and everything! (Seriously, you wanna?)

Anyway, my point is, if you want to go have a drink or twelve on your 21st, go for it. If not, spend the day however you truly want to: celebrate yourself, celebrate your life! Happy Birth Day!

And, lastly, don’t listen to those people when they say that your 21st is the last “important” birthday – that is so not true! Every birthday is important – don’t let that importance slip away!