1. I’ve never believed anyone when they said it couldn’t be done.
2. My spirit animal is sticky velcro dots. Those things are amazing.
3. Love where you are, or leave. Love the people around you, or find new people.
4. You might be a grammar nerd if a stylishly placed comma in an email makes you a little bit gleeful.
5. If Hell exists, I bet it is in the middle of a never-ending casino filled with old people pushing slot machine buttons over and over again and grinning wildly.
6. Remember Adele?
7. Every additional person you love takes a small part of your heart with them when they leave you. You’re never a whole person until you’re surrounded by every single person that you love.
8. They say friendships are give-and-take. Right? So if you find yourself doing all –and I mean all– of the giving, it can’t really be a friendship. Maybe it was once. Not anymore. Let it go.
9. I’ll say it again: Only you find your pet stories hilarious. Only I find my pet stories hilarious. Some things, you just can’t share with other people. Or, at least, you shouldn’t.
10. Saying what you mean is sometimes the hardest thing to do on the planet.
1. Sometimes people don’t want to talk about themselves – and instead will do so while talking about other things.
2. Stop talking about how unintelligent other people are. It makes you sound stupid.
3. Always remind yourself to love other people’s love.
4. Listen to your favorite music right before that job interview/first date/other really exciting/scary event in your life! It will calm you down and remind you of the person that you actually are – not the person who’s really fucking nervous!
5. If you find that the people who you love/care about most have nothing left in common with you, it might be time to find new people to love/care about. Not that you have to drop those old relationships – it’s just time for some new ones.
6.I love you but your spelling is terrible.
7. Sometimes you just need a little reminder that there is so much more out there than what you can see.
8. Endings are sad/hard/can be the end of something good. However, endings are also the beginning. Of what, who knows – but something!
9. A baby dog crying is way worse than a baby human crying!
10. Sure, that thing you’re supposed to do later takes the effort of getting out of your chair/bed/house – and sometimes all you want to do is not do anything. But, it’s always better to experience new things – even if you have to force yourself into it, even if you really would rather lay on that nice, comfy couch… The couch will wait for you! The experience, not so much.
1. Recently while watching TV at work I yelled “Your boobs look great!” at an infomercial about “special” bras. These things happen.
2. All I really want is a pouty European boy with a weird accent.
3. How long has it been since you built your last couch cushion fort?
4. If someone warns you that your beverage is hot, don’t test it out for yourself and burn your tongue. Just believe them.
5. There are people out there doing what you want to be doing. Maybe you think you can’t do it – but you can! They did!
6. What ever happened to Lady Gaga? Remember her?
7. I really want to hire a Psychologist and have them diagnose people with different mental disorders by only looking at their tumblr pages.
8. Just because spellcheck says it’s a word, doesn’t mean you’ve got it right. (Actual real life Facebook example: “Some of Gods greasiest gifts are unanswered prayers!!” So greasy.)
9. Sometimes I think people just keep the Starbucks cup they got that one time and refill it with coffee from home. You don’t actually go to Starbucks that often, right? Right?
10. It’s time to step it up a notch. Turn it up a step. You get what I mean. Go for broke! Go big or go home! Go to Bed! Wait, what?
1. I can’t stand fancy salads. Arugula? Really?
2. I wouldn’t say that if I could be any animal I would be a squirrel, but, if you forced me to be a squirrel, I really wouldn’t be that angry at you!
3. My dad is starting to listen to music that I listen to and it is starting to scare me. Jack White is mine!
4. Did you just refer to me as an artist? Um – thank you!
5. Do you say “on accident” or “by accident”?? I say “on accident”, and my family calls me out on it every time! It turns out – both are correct. Oh, words. I love you!
6. It turns out those crunchy bean-looking things I put on my salad were soy nuts. I ate soy! I’m a healthy person now!
7. I need a hair cut. Will you give me a haircut? Wait – how do you spell haircut? Hair cut? Haircut.
8. Don’t look for love where you know you shouldn’t.
9. Does anybody really ever not use the same password for every website on the internet?
10. My bathroom could be used in an Garnier Fructis commercial. Because I have a lot of Garnier Fructis stuff. Did you get that?