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Tag Archives: go away

1. If you got to know that person you don’t understand/know very well, maybe you’d find someone like  yourself. Maybe you’d understand them, maybe you could even be friends. If not, at least you tried to be sympathetic and not an apathetic asshole. More people should be like you!

2. Don’t worry – having weird/awkward experiences will just make you a better/more interesting person in the end! You’ll have the best stories to tell.

3. If someone asks for your help, before you answer them, ask yourself this: if they needed me to do this right now, would I do it? Reply accordingly.

4. No one wants to hear about how cute/smart/funny your pets/children are. They don’t care and they desperately wish you would stop talking so they could stop attempting to look interested.

5. That boy doesn’t know that you’re interested in him – and why is that? Because you’re attempting to show him that you’re interested by avoiding eye contact. AKA, by showing that you’re not interested. Er, what? Either take what you want, or don’t.

6. Stop telling me to smile. Why would I walk around with a smile plastered to my face? I’m not upset, this is just how my face looks! Life isn’t all smiles – so leave me and my face alone!

7. Is it bad that I always assume you’re drunk after 9PM?

8. I currently have a hidden stash of christmas presents in my room that are for my family members. I’m like a creepy hoarder santa!

9. Don’t you come on my website, comment on my About page, and then leave. Um, no. That’s not how we do it here, and your attempt at self-promotion has now been deleted. #getoutstayout

10. People who use hash tags when they are somewhere other than on Twitter really irk me.

Folks, we have a problem. Well, I do, anyway. And google isn’t helping! (Which saddens me; Google knows everything! right?)
So, there’s this guy…
Wait, no, let’s start over. (this is going poorly already!)
Here’s what I wanted to find in my recent googling, yet failed to find:

How to let a guy down easy:

  1. Move far away. Maybe to France. Does he speak French?
  2. Delete your facebook. Twitter, too. Throw your cell phone in a nearby body of water (even though you didn’t give him your number — right??)
  3. Change your name. Get a sex change. Shave off all of your hair and tattoo your entire body.
  4. “Tell him the Truth.”

Ok, seriously. This is my version of what can be found on this topic on the internets. The first “best” choices? LIE YOUR HEAD OFF.

None of this is easy. It’s easy to ask, “How can I let him down easy?” It’s easy to decide that you’re just going to tell him the Truth (because you already tried learning French and that’s just not gonna happen). But the next time you run into the guy (or, uh, he runs into you,) you have to actually look him in the face and, um, talk to him. Lying is easier in person than talking about feelings. (God, why does this happen so much? Why are there so many lists of choices out there that women can make when faced with this problem?)

Ok, guys, (boys. males.) listen up. If you ask a girl out, proclaim your love for her, etc, and she goes:”…….umm…….”. Well, that’s probably a bad sign. Maybe not. Maybe she’s thinking about your wedding already.

However, if you continue your attempts at wooing her, to no avail, she doesn’t want you to woo her. Stop that.

Don’t keep asking her on dates. Don’t say shit like, “Well, if you won’t answer me today, I’ll just come back tomorrow.” Or, “I can tell that you’re avoiding me. Gee, why are you so shy?”

If a girl wants to date you, if she thinks you’re attractive, she will get with that. Trust me. Trust me, I’m a girl, I know these things. Her avoiding you? That’s not flirting. That’s not a sign to keep at ‘er.

How to let a guy down easy? I have no idea. No wonder Google was so unhelpful! Here’s a better question: Why can’t guys sense when girls are trying to let them down easy?