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1. Holy sheeshing fudge crap! You must watch “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” on Netflix! It’s really good. Which is weird, because it’s a t.v. show. But it is! It just came out this month, and every episode of the first season is available to watch. Thank gosh and his son jeepers we live in 2015 where no one has any patience and we all just want to binge watch 8 month’s worth of work in one sitting!

2. It’s almost spring. I went outside the other day and I wasn’t cold! I heard this weird noise and then I realized that it was a bird chirping! Wow. Spring.

3. This year I paid attention on St. Patrick’s day and I was terrified and embarrassed. Why are all these Americans pretending they like beer?! Also, no, you’re not Irish. Calm down. Also also, good job pulling out the iron to get the wrinkles out of that green shirt you keep in your closet to wear once a year. You yanks!!

4. Once an Irish person (like, a real one) called me a yank and I was like, “Uh-uh! Only my people get to use that word!”

5. Ok, we get it, you read Hemingway and Vonnegut! But like, really, what do you read?

6. Bukowski hated Shakespeare, too.

7. Did people share pictures of themselves in their bathroom mirrors before the internet? How did we all communicate before Facebook?! Remember telephone conversations? Yeah, me too! Weird.

8. It’s almost sidewalk chalk season. Also hopscotch. Also jump rope. Wait, we’re all still 8, right? Just kidding, these activities are ageless. For-all-ages. Let’s get chalky.

9. It’s so hard to motivate yourself when you have no motivation to motivate yourself.

10. Find a goal.

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1. Sometimes to have hope is to be a fool.

2. How much longer is “the news” on TV going to be a thing? The internet is way better/more efficient/effective/faster/way better. Yeah?

3. If your Facebook doesn’t say you’re single, and it doesn’t say you’re in a relationship, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

4. There’s no way anyone can mess up painting with watercolors. Instant artist. Just add water!

5. My grandpa taught me when I was little how to quickly tell how many days were in each month by using my knuckles. I guess I do have a party trick! But life is sort of like my knuckles, too. Up and down and flat. Moving and falling and staying. Over and over. Searching, growing, laying silently in failure on the ground. Yeah!! Thanks, grandpa.

6. That might have been the best thing ever written. You’re welcome, world.

7. OK here’s an important life question that I’ve been thinking about: Why don’t boys/other people in general just somehow magically know that you want to hang out with them without you having to say something to them?! Isn’t this the modern age? Why don’t we have this technology? SPARRRTAAAA. (Also, I’ve never seen 300.)

8. Have you noticed this, because I have: Everyone’s current favorite movies of all time are all from Netflix! Yeah, I saw Ida, too. I get it. But what else? There must be movies you’ve enjoyed before you got your Netflix account, right? I mean listing those is just sort of telling me what everyone else is watching right now. It doesn’t make you or your movies interesting! We need a new source of information. There must be thousands of movies/great short films we’re just completely missing out on because we’re spending all of our time scrolling through huge lists of movie titles on Netflix, all of which we’ve already read the descriptions of and turned down multiple times weeks ago!

9. Here’s a really great video for you if you haven’t seen it yet. Hank Green, guys! He totally gave me a high five once. (AKA he’s a credible source.)

10. Listen to yourself talk with other people. Are you a kind person? Try to be.

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1. Even cool, well-traveled, creative, smart people post too much on social media sometimes! It’s fine! … if you’re cool, well-traveled, creative, and smart. Otherwise…

2. It’s 2014! Can you believe it? Of course you can, it’s the year that logically comes after 2013! How exciting!

3. It’s 2014, and everyone knows that when you read a message on Facebook, the other person can see that you’ve read it, and now they’re just waiting for you to respond, and they know that you know that they know… what are you doing?!

4. The most amazing people are all hanging out in the cool places you want to visit.

5. There is a special kind of silence between two people when they don’t speak the same language.

6. This is the year you’re going to do that thing that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t! Exciting, right?

7. Sometimes you have to be the strongest person in your life. Let’s all keep going.

8. My mom: “Do you want to go see Lone Survivor?”

Me: “Uh…?”

Mom: “It looks really good.”

Me: *Googles* “Emile Hirsch is in it?!”

Mom: “Who?”

Me: “Let’s go.”

9. How you should propose to me if you want me to agree to marry you: “Want to talk about space together for the rest of our lives?” (Bonus points: Actually like playing Monopoly.)

10. You can’t go back, but you can go forward.

1. If you find a project you want to work on, or a job you’d like to have, or a movie you want to be in — but for some reason, you can’t work on that specific project, or have that job, or be in that movie — make your own. Don’t give up or change your dreams or goals just because they are not readily available or simple or easy, and especially don’t rely on someone else to make them happen!

2. People are not going to live up to your expectations — ever — whether that be for good or for bad. That’s just part of what makes life so interesting… and also difficult.

3. Speaking of life being difficult (this is a cheery post, eh?)… You know those difficult situations/problems that arise in life, that you struggle to overcome, and once you’ve dealt with those things, you feel like a stronger person? Until, of course, you find yourself in the same situation again later, and realize you haven’t really learned yet how to cope with it. I guess that in itself is a learning experience.

4. I’ll admit it… sometimes the universe seems like it’s either playing a joke on us… or helping us out in major ways. Crazy, right?

5. Don’t feel bad for wanting more.

6. Write down the quotes, words, and/or blips of conversations you hear that mean something to you. Collect them. Keep them in a jar and read through them when you need to.

7. Do the stuff you don’t want to do first, that way it’ll be done and over with and you can get on with the stuff you like/want to do! This is like the opposite of what happened when you were a kid and had a pile of green beans left on your plate after dinner.

8. I’m an introvert, and as an introvert, I totally understand the not wanting to talk to people thing. It’s just so much easier to stay quiet and just listen. However I’ve come to find that talking to people is another way of listening — if you can get people to talk, they just might turn out to be an interesting story. I think introverts have the right idea — the whole not blabbing on the whole time thing — we just need to take that perspective and use it to interact with the outside world.

9. Bad things happen sometimes. A lot of times. Every day. But good things happen just as often, maybe more often. The trick is to accept that both the good and the bad are going to keep happening, and learn to live with this roller-coaster of a thing that is life.

10. Sure, your smartphone can tell you what the weather’s going to be like for your birthday in three years, and it notifies you the second someone likes that picture of your dog that you just posted on Facebook, but don’t let all that take away from how amazing it is that there are tiny cells in your body keeping you alive.

1. Recently while watching TV at work I yelled “Your boobs look great!” at an infomercial about “special” bras. These things happen.

2. All I really want is a pouty European boy with a weird accent.

3. How long has it been since you built your last couch cushion fort?

4. If someone warns you that your beverage is hot, don’t test it out for yourself and burn your tongue. Just believe them.

5. There are people out there doing what you want to be doing. Maybe you think you can’t do it – but you can! They did!

6. What ever happened to Lady Gaga? Remember her?

7. I really want to hire a Psychologist and have them diagnose people with different mental disorders by only looking at their tumblr pages.

8. Just because spellcheck says it’s a word, doesn’t mean you’ve got it right. (Actual real life Facebook example: “Some of Gods greasiest gifts are unanswered prayers!!” So greasy.)

9. Sometimes I think people just keep the Starbucks cup they got that one time and refill it with coffee from home. You don’t actually go to Starbucks that often, right? Right?

10. It’s time to step it up a notch. Turn it up a step. You get what I mean. Go for broke! Go big or go home! Go to Bed! Wait, what?

I think one of the main goals I have in life is to be interesting. There’s this sticky note on my end table that says “be more awe-inspiring today”.

It’s been there for a while now, and I glance at it every now and then and it reminds me to be, well, awe-inspiring.

I guess “interesting” and “awe-inspiring” are cousins.

I just want to lead a well-lived life. That’s what it’s all about for me.

About a week ago, a beautiful blue-eyed boy asked me the following question: “What did you do today?” My brief, uninteresting answer consisted mostly of: “nothing much”.

What did you do today?

This question has stuck with me. I might be adding another sticky note to my table soon.

What did you do today?

What did you do today? Anything interesting? Anything awe-inspiring? Anything that will help lead your life to where you want it to go?

Anything at all?

No?

My term “interesting” can be as general or as specific as you want it to be.

“Interesting” can be going scuba-diving with chinese dolphins, or buying a new brand of toothpaste.

I like to group “interesting” in with “awe-inspiring”, though. That’s just me.

So, how to be an interesting person:

1. Read. Old books, new books. The news. Your Twitter feed. Blogs written by intelligent people. Just read!

2. Watch movies. Classics. Crappy horror flicks. RomComs. Foreign films with subtitles.

3. Travel. Go camping in the middle of the woods. Go to Las Vegas. Go to the beach. Go to a crowded shopping mall. Fly in an airplane. Take a train across the country.

4. Talk. Meet new people. Talk to the old lady in the grocery store. That coworker you’ve never spoken to. The waitress. The person next to you on the subway. Your mom.

5. Write. Write things down. On actual paper. Put the time, date, and location on everything. Be one of those people who carry around a notebook.

6. Take Photographs. All the time. Everywhere you go! Feel free to upload them all using various filters on Instagram. (follow me! @ohnewfree)

This is my list so far! I’m sure it will grow with time, just like my sticky note collection. All I know is that I’d like to do something interesting at least once a day, just in case that blue-eyed boy asks me: “What did you do today?” again some time. I’d also like to be able to answer that question for myself.

Folks, we have a problem. Well, I do, anyway. And google isn’t helping! (Which saddens me; Google knows everything! right?)
So, there’s this guy…
Wait, no, let’s start over. (this is going poorly already!)
Here’s what I wanted to find in my recent googling, yet failed to find:

How to let a guy down easy:

  1. Move far away. Maybe to France. Does he speak French?
  2. Delete your facebook. Twitter, too. Throw your cell phone in a nearby body of water (even though you didn’t give him your number — right??)
  3. Change your name. Get a sex change. Shave off all of your hair and tattoo your entire body.
  4. “Tell him the Truth.”

Ok, seriously. This is my version of what can be found on this topic on the internets. The first “best” choices? LIE YOUR HEAD OFF.

None of this is easy. It’s easy to ask, “How can I let him down easy?” It’s easy to decide that you’re just going to tell him the Truth (because you already tried learning French and that’s just not gonna happen). But the next time you run into the guy (or, uh, he runs into you,) you have to actually look him in the face and, um, talk to him. Lying is easier in person than talking about feelings. (God, why does this happen so much? Why are there so many lists of choices out there that women can make when faced with this problem?)

Ok, guys, (boys. males.) listen up. If you ask a girl out, proclaim your love for her, etc, and she goes:”…….umm…….”. Well, that’s probably a bad sign. Maybe not. Maybe she’s thinking about your wedding already.

However, if you continue your attempts at wooing her, to no avail, she doesn’t want you to woo her. Stop that.

Don’t keep asking her on dates. Don’t say shit like, “Well, if you won’t answer me today, I’ll just come back tomorrow.” Or, “I can tell that you’re avoiding me. Gee, why are you so shy?”

If a girl wants to date you, if she thinks you’re attractive, she will get with that. Trust me. Trust me, I’m a girl, I know these things. Her avoiding you? That’s not flirting. That’s not a sign to keep at ‘er.

How to let a guy down easy? I have no idea. No wonder Google was so unhelpful! Here’s a better question: Why can’t guys sense when girls are trying to let them down easy?