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I went to bed at 1AM this morning. It was a strange night of me sleeping and then waking up every hour or so to go pee. I think I ate too much watermelon.

Twice when I awoke, thoughts popped into my head. This was strange because usually when I wake up it’s more like me struggling out of bed, groggy, grumpy, and tired. These little thoughts were very clear, very simple. I was surprised by their honesty and their simplicity.

My first thought was this:

“There are so many amazing, creative people here in this world and it doesn’t seem to support them very much. It could be a much better place.”

That was at 4AM. Then I went back to sleep.

A few hours later, I awoke, and thought,

“I could go biking today. I can fit my bike in the back of my truck now. I could go to the park and go biking. It would be good exercise. Maybe my little brother will come. I should go biking.”

Then, I went back to sleep. It is a wonderful thing to have the freedom to wake up, think little, important thoughts, and then dive deep down into your pillows once more.

You know your mom asked you this thousands of times when you were a kid. Oh, and your dad asked you this, too. And your uncle. And your Grandma. And your other uncle…
When you were little you would say something like, “a fireman!”, and then later you realized there were jobs out there were you could be something other than a policeman(woman), or a fireman(woman), or a doctor, or a teacher.

Then people started telling you what you should want to be: a doctor. Because everyone is destined to become a doctor, because the only successful career option is in the medical field (oh, and because you can make a lot of money being a doctor, sweetie).

Then maybe you decided to be a doctor. Then you told your mom and your dad and both uncles and your half-cousin that you were going to be a doctor. And maybe you became a doctor.

Or maybe, just maybe, you wanted to be something else, wanted to do something else. While the world was pulling at you to be something you didn’t want to be, you knew deep down in your heart what you wanted. You knew what you wanted to be when you grew up. For the first time in your life, after being asked that question since you were a tiny little person, you could answer and hear the answer ring true.

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