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1. You must earn respect again and again. It is not a birthright. It doesn’t come from a title, even if you think it comes from a title, even if it seems to. You have to prove yourself, always, forever, until you die. And then maybe the respect or the disrespect people held for you will live on.

2. Everyone’s already finished the new season of Orange is the New Black. So, now that you’ve got some free time, you should binge watch Grace and Frankie!

3. I love so many people so much and it’s so wonderful.

4. “I can dig it.”

5. Hey guys, maybe we should be more concerned about the planet than like, kim kardashian, whoever that is? Just a thought.

6. Why are you not internet stalking me enough?!

7. Breaking News: White boys white girl dance, too! I’ve seen it! With my very own eyes! Now excuse me, I have to go flail my arms around to this music.

8. Go outside!

9. He has a selfie stick but I still like him. Which is impressive. Although, selfie sticks are becoming more acceptable generally. I think it all started in Asia and then maybe someone flew one over to the States and the rest is, um, selfie history! I could really talk about this forever. Shall I go on?! I won’t. #selfiesticks

10. I am not afraid of many things, but, expressway construction is terrifying. Please stop making me drive in pretend lanes you basically drew with sidewalk chalk and built solid concrete walls around! Thanks!

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Let’s talk about Twinkies for a minute.

Hey, there’s something I’ve never said before.

Everyone knows Hostess is going out of business. You know that, right? If not, sorry to break it to you like this: you’re probably never going to have a Twinkie again. Sorry.

I know, I know, this is tragic stuff. (Official first world problem?)

When the news broke, people rushed (literally) to grocery and convenience stores all over the country, buying up all the Twinkies. No, they weren’t doing it to stock up their pantries:

They did it to sell them on Ebay.

First of all, can we just talk about how stereotypically American this is?

1. Twinkies. 2. Selling shit on Ebay. 3. Selling Twinkies on Ebay (what even?). 4. Get rick quick schemes!

I hate it and I love it at the same time.

So, there was the Twinkie Rush of 2012. Maybe this’ll be what makes it in the history books from our generation. Sad? Maybe. Delicious? Um, not really.

Hey, there’s another point of mine: NO ONE EVEN LIKES TWINKIES.

No, you don’t. Let’s be real here – me and you. They’re gross. They’re squishy, fake cake, filled with white creamy sugary stuff. No.

So, if no one likes Twinkies, who exactly are these Ebay-sellers expecting to buy them? Especially at ridiculously high prices? No.

Anyway, everyone knows that the Twinkie is going to be sticking around. Some other company will buy up the recipe (or, will buy the large amount of never-expiring twinkie stock) and continue selling them under some other name for years and generations to come. Yum?

P.s. No, Twinkies cannot last forever. No, they will not survive the apocalypse (so if you did buy some ridiculously expensive snack cakes, you’d better get your money’s worth from them now… only a few weeks left!). They have a shelf life of 28 days! Mmm, Twinkies.

That is all.