Archive

Tag Archives: bravery

1. Every time I get a text message, my heart beats a little faster because it might be from you. Or maybe that’s some weird medical condition? Hmm.

2. What would the world do if banana bread had never been invented? What would people do with all of their overripe bananas?!

3. Your goal shouldn’t be to save the world, just to help make it a little bit better. If we all do small things, big things will happen.

4. Don’t let people walk away –¬†literally or figuratively or both – if you still have something to say to them! It sucks, and it’s going to suck more later, thinking back on it. Be strong in the moment and say it!

5. They probably love you back.

6. If you have a positive attitude about it, it’s more likely to happen.

7. Horoscopes may or may not be true, but they’re fun to read! Right? Leo and Cancer are made for each other this month! How cool is that?

8. If you’re doing something for the wrong reasons, other people will know that something’s not quite right.

9. Stop assuming that people who walk around looking unhappy are unhappy! Maybe that’s just the way their face is – it’s not your job to tell complete strangers to cheer up! “Smile!”¬†Stop doing that! You’re just making them even more pissed, or, if they were perfectly OK to begin with, now you’ve went and made them angry!

10. If you’re unhappy with your life, maybe you just need to buy more pillows for your bed. Hey, it could work.

https://i0.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mahf5ivKRa1rbaqo5o1_500.png

Did you ask her, too? Did you go up to random people on the street and ask them to save you? Did she say no? Did they shake their heads or hand you small bills, hoping either way that you’d leave them be?

I can’t picture what the view must be like from inside your head. Usually I’m good at doing that. It all just looks blurry and gray from over here. Maybe that’s what you’re seeing.

I don’t know what to think anymore. Maybe we all just need a break. All of us. If we all agree to wait a day, to skip one 24-hour section, and just sleep, or do something nice, would that fix it? Call it a cease-fire of life.

What do you think? That’s all I really want to ask you. That’s all that really matters, isn’t it? No, I don’t really think that. I don’t even agree with you. I just shake my head and wish you’d leave me be.

We’re all just floating on by, down the river. There’s a waterfall at the end, just like in all the dramatic movies you’ve ever seen with a river in them. We’re all going to fall, one day. Maybe more than once. Maybe at the end it will feel like falling.

I wish somebody would save me. I’m really not all that brave or sure of anything. I act like it, though. I’m afraid to be afraid. I won’t be. I’d rather be able to do it on my own. That’s what I’ve been trying to do ever since you left me; even before I met you. It’s a process, it’s a journey down this river.

I want to save you, I do. But I don’t even know what that means. And I don’t know you. And I don’t know if you want to be saved. Doesn’t everyone? That waterfall is coming but we’d all rather be with other people when the boat goes down. No one really wants to be alone.

So there I was, wandering around in a slightly unfamiliar building on campus, searching for a lady I was supposed to be meeting. (Spoiler Alert: She had forgotten about the meeting and was already at home with her children as I circled the first floor, searching for her – someone I had never met or seen before.)

She was late. Or, was I in the wrong spot? I thought we said we were meeting at the chairs in the front lobby. But, maybe to her, the front lobby is what to me is the back lobby.

I wandered around. I went to the back of the building. There was a lady sitting there, who looked like she could be who I was looking for. I still had my doubts, though. We said the front lobby, right by those squishy chairs! She must be talking about the same place as I am. Maybe she’s just late.

I walk past the lady sitting in the chair. No, that can’t be her. My eyes search among the other people sitting around the high tables and chairs of the school’s cafe. I make eye contact with a black-haired boy sitting against the windowed-wall.

I don’t look away. He doesn’t look away. It feels like I know him, though I don’t know him. He looks at me like he understands. It doesn’t feel like I am looking at a stranger, though I am. I could walk over to him and it wouldn’t be weird. Instead, I walk away.

I go back to the front of the building. No one new there, only a few high school students still waiting for their parents to come and pick them up. (Yes, there is a high school inside of my University. It’s where I graduated from.)

I check the clock on my phone. She’s almost 15 minutes late now. How long should I wait? Maybe she actually forgot.

I check my email. Nothing. Where is she? I wonder how much longer I should wait for her. I’ve been waiting for what feels like forever – 25 minutes. How much time does she need?

I wait. My mind wanders to that boy. I should have went up to him. I should have said hello. I should have asked him if he felt the same way – if he felt like I wasn’t a stranger, though I was.

I wander around the front lobby, as if changing the location of my body, and my line of sight, will make the woman I’m waiting for suddenly appear. It doesn’t work.

I decide that I need to double check that that woman sitting in the back lobby isn’t actually the lady I’ve been searching for all along – I’m trying to be professional, here. I don’t want to leave without making sure. I don’t want to leave her sitting there, waiting for me.

I walk back around to the area where she’s sitting. I walk in the same direction around as I did before, intentionally avoiding the place where the black-haired boy was sitting.

The woman is still there, sitting, reading something in a folder. This could be her, I think.

I walk up to her, a stranger. She looks up at me as I approach.

Are you M.?, I ask. No, she says. Sorry, I say. No problem, she says, and smiles.

I walk back to the front, passing the boy again. We look at each other. I do nothing. I walk away.

Back in the front lobby, I’m about ready to leave, though I still have some hope that the lady I’m looking for will appear.

She doesn’t.

I leave.

I exit the building out of the back door. The boy is still there, watching me. I ignore him. I can’t do anything else.

As the door closes behind me, I think of him. Who is he? Why is it so easy to look him in the eye? That doesn’t happen very often. Why didn’t I say anything? Of course I didn’t say anything.

Later, I wonder. Our eyes keep meeting in my mind. I remember only his black hair, and his eyes, and how he looked at me, and how I felt. I remember how he was sitting alone in the cafe near the window. I wonder who he is, where he is now. I wonder what would have happened if I had been brave enough, or curious enough, to walk up to him. A stranger. A stranger who didn’t feel like a stranger. A stranger with the eyes of a friend.

1. Wait… you’re from my high school and you’re not pregnant?

2. No, there are no computers available for you to use in the library. Now be a big boy, stop cussing, and go look for one somewhere else – I’m trying to play FarmVille 2, here!

3. NEVER tell someone that they “look tired” unless you want them to immediately hate you.

4. Just do it. Yes, I know that’s Nike’s slogan – I don’t care. Just do it – it’s my slogan now, too!

5. Why do all the beautiful, long-haired hippie boys have to be stoners?! It’s just not fair!

6. I want to see one of those tough-motorcycle-riding guys hit his funny bone and not wince/cry immediately. Yeah.

7. You know that one restaurant that you’re always driving past, that you’ve never been to – but you’ve always want to go and check out? Just do it! (See what I mean? It’s a great slogan.)

8. Nope, still no computers available! Now I’m working on my blog! Heyinfinity.com, bro! Check it!

9. Yes, your shoes are cute, but they also make you sound like a walking marching band. Maybe avoid tassels in the future?

10. The joy of other people makes me happier than anything else.