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All the things I need are sitting next to me, unused. Another package arrives for us at the post office, full of more. My nose aches as it is carried for twenty minutes through the cold air outside, covered with a mask for 7 minutes, then carried back home for twenty more. Just above, my brain wonders if last-years’ boots still blend in with the Berlin scene. They could use a polish – and of course we have some at home, sitting on the shelf, waiting.

At home, flowers are pink and yellow and purple, soaking sweetly in slightly yellowed water. They don’t know about the recent snowstorm. They don’t know I’m waiting to hear from you. They are just flowers, pink and yellow and purple.

The laundry machine swirls. Does it smell like vinegar in the kitchen, to you? I used the rest of the bottle this morning to clean the black mold out of the place where you put the soap in. If your clothes smell faintly of fish n chips from the seaside, this is why.

My head aches like a hollowness. There was so much and is so much still coming. Packages and life and dentist appointments we need to make next month and airplanes and phone calls and feelings. She’s so little but she’s starting to see it, too: the depth of all of this. The distance. The places you have to walk in your big girl shoes. The height of an airplane up in the sky. The memories of snow-people you made last week, last year, before it all melted away into something more. The ways you keep changing, the ways people keep changing – good and bad. The sunshine and the darkness and the way trees look covered in too much snow.

Sleeve Season: I’m learning how to sew sleeves. Making things from other things is special. Historical. Important. Useful. Hopefully doesn’t end tragically. Come over and watch, we’ll make something together, end it all with a big group hug, surrounded by sleeves, screaming, stuffing more things into this life, stuffing more arms into sleeves, more arms around our loved ones, keeping them safe from this life that’s ever-changing – good and bad.

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Think about how many places you and your boots have traveled to (and from) together this winter.

Think about how many cold breezes your coat and hat and scarf and gloves protected you from.

Think about how many times you were kissed while you wore your favorite sweater.

Think about how many times you laughed in your long thick socks.

Yes, winter comes and goes. Yes, sometimes it seems like all we need is a change of seasons.

But just think, next time you stamp the snow from your boots, about how many different places that water has been.

As they say in Game of Thrones, “Winter is coming.” (You read/watch Game of Thrones, right? Of course you do.)

Winter means bulky sweaters and dark colored clothing. No more white pants, you guys. (Why do you have white pants anyway? That’s a no-no.)

Winter can also be, you know, cold. And dreary. And: “I don’t really care what I look like as long as I’m warm!

I get that. I’m all aboard that train, so to speak. But there’s no reason you can’t still look good/fashionable/like-you’re-not-dying during the winter months.

That said, I’ll say this next: I want to bring back black.

Black is a great color/all of the colors combined. Yes, there is this idea out there that only Goths wear black. Or, that too much black is too much, er, black.

But that’s just not true! Haven’t you seen pictures of Bob Dylan from the sixties?

Look at that cool cat! Let’s bring back black. Maybe we can all be as cool as Dylan in 1966!

Here’s how I would do it:

Black Pleated Dress  ∞  $44 dorothyperkins.com

Charlotte Olympia Kitty Flats in Black  ∞  $595 forwardforward.com

ALEX AND CHLOE Queen Noir Ring  ∞  $2200 alexandchloe.com

 Stella & Dot Ella Bracelet  ∞  $44 stellaadot.com

Kenzo Graphic Knit Sweater  ∞  $641 lagarconne.com

 Juicy Couture Color Blocked Fedora  ∞  $105 jades24.com

Mineral Triangle Ring  ∞ $20 topshop.com

 Cheska Black Patent Chelsea Boot   ∞  $40 boohoo.com

 Black Garland Balcony Bra  ∞ $40 debenhams.com

 

1. When I go to pass you on the expressway because you are annoyingly going 3 under the speed limit, why do you immediately speed up when you see me get into the fast lane to go around you?

2. Sure, those signs say “No Smoking” – but I’m sure they didn’t mean you couldn’t smoke there!

3. If you’re standing in the front row at a concert, do not turn around and stare at all of the people behind you! It’s so awkward – especially if you’re all packed in so tightly that no one can escape your piercing gaze! Don’t you know the unspoken concert rules?!

4. Don’t go to Mcdonalds. Just don’t do it. You know you’re going to regret it as soon as you swallow that last bite of greasy “beef”!

5. Who are these people buying $500 boots? Mine cost $20 from Target, thank you – and they’re fine!

6. You know that awkward moment after someone sneezes and no one says “Bless You”? Yeah.

7. When is the appropriate time during class to pull out a juice box?

8. I don’t care what the law says, if you ride a motorcycle without a helmet, you are an idiot. Fact.

9. I want someone to make me a mix tape. Do people even make mix tapes anymore?

10. Have you ever seen those infomercials that pretend they are very important breaking news? Yeah.