I’m sitting (actually laying) in a hotel room somewhere in Chicago. I’m supposed to be somewhere over the ocean by now, halfway to halfway across the world, on a plane to South Korea. Now that’s happening tomorrow instead. So, here I sit. (Lay.)
When I first walked into my temporary home, the huge bed, wide desk, and sofa/ottoman thing excited me. Look at all these large comfy surfaces!, I thought (or something similar).
Then I made some coffee. Because why not. And then I drank said coffee. Because I was bored. And then I turned on all the lamps in my hotel room (there are like six different lamps, including two built into the headboard!). Because the coffee was no longer entertaining me. Then I sat (lay) down on the extra-large bed with the white feather-stuffed blanket. And then the room seemed too large, the lamps too bright, South Korea, and me, too far away from all the people I love.
Doing interesting things is hard. Traveling is hard. Moving to the other side of the planet seems difficult. (I’ll let you know how that goes later on.) If you admit to being weak, does that make you any stronger? Do we always need people? What does that even mean? Am I just being silly? Emotional? Over-dramatic? I never can tell.
Maybe I can blame the people I’ve been hanging out with. Those humans I call friends, who make me laugh so hard my head seems to whip around on its own, who make me cry talking about the wonder of life, who embarrass me by talking about… well… stuff.
A few years ago, I never felt this way, like I needed people in my life. I think I was much more self-sufficient. Or maybe I was just wrong. Or maybe I just hadn’t met the right human beings.
I am the elephant king, the one and only I am the blood of the lamb, I am the holy I am the teller of tales, I am a story I am and the elephant king but I am lonely. I am the prophet's confession on his deathbed I am the soil of the earth, I am the purebred I am the listener hearing all that's unsaid I am the magazines hiding under your bed And you can't take my kingdom away from me. I am the elephant king, the one and only I am the voice of the song, I am the lowly I am the chosen protector of the dreary I am the elephant king but I am lonely So take my jewels and gems, take all that shines bright Take all the signs of my power away from my sight I will go to a land of constant daylight I will talk to myself 'til I am alright But take good care, I'll be back sooner than you think 'Cause you can't take my kingdom away from me.