1. Wait… you’re from my high school and you’re not pregnant?
2. No, there are no computers available for you to use in the library. Now be a big boy, stop cussing, and go look for one somewhere else – I’m trying to play FarmVille 2, here!
3. NEVER tell someone that they “look tired” unless you want them to immediately hate you.
4. Just do it. Yes, I know that’s Nike’s slogan – I don’t care. Just do it – it’s my slogan now, too!
5. Why do all the beautiful, long-haired hippie boys have to be stoners?! It’s just not fair!
6. I want to see one of those tough-motorcycle-riding guys hit his funny bone and not wince/cry immediately. Yeah.
7. You know that one restaurant that you’re always driving past, that you’ve never been to – but you’ve always want to go and check out? Just do it! (See what I mean? It’s a great slogan.)
8. Nope, still no computers available! Now I’m working on my blog! Heyinfinity.com, bro! Check it!
9. Yes, your shoes are cute, but they also make you sound like a walking marching band. Maybe avoid tassels in the future?
10. The joy of other people makes me happier than anything else.