1. I can’t stand fancy salads. Arugula? Really?
2. I wouldn’t say that if I could be any animal I would be a squirrel, but, if you forced me to be a squirrel, I really wouldn’t be that angry at you!
3. My dad is starting to listen to music that I listen to and it is starting to scare me. Jack White is mine!
4. Did you just refer to me as an artist? Um – thank you!
5. Do you say “on accident” or “by accident”?? I say “on accident”, and my family calls me out on it every time! It turns out – both are correct. Oh, words. I love you!
6. It turns out those crunchy bean-looking things I put on my salad were soy nuts. I ate soy! I’m a healthy person now!
7. I need a hair cut. Will you give me a haircut? Wait – how do you spell haircut? Hair cut? Haircut.
8. Don’t look for love where you know you shouldn’t.
9. Does anybody really ever not use the same password for every website on the internet?
10. My bathroom could be used in an Garnier Fructis commercial. Because I have a lot of Garnier Fructis stuff. Did you get that?