Go Away!

Folks, we have a problem. Well, I do, anyway. And google isn’t helping! (Which saddens me; Google knows everything! right?)
So, there’s this guy…
Wait, no, let’s start over. (this is going poorly already!)
Here’s what I wanted to find in my recent googling, yet failed to find:

How to let a guy down easy:

Move far away. Maybe to France. Does he speak French?
Delete your facebook. Twitter, too. Throw your cell phone in a nearby body of water (even though you didn’t give him your number — right??)
Change your name. Get a sex change. Shave off all of your hair and tattoo your entire body.
“Tell him the Truth.”

Ok, seriously. This is my version of what can be found on this topic on the internets. The first “best” choices? LIE YOUR HEAD OFF.

None of this is easy. It’s easy to ask, “How can I let him down easy?” It’s easy to decide that you’re just going to tell him the Truth (because you already tried learning French and that’s just not gonna happen). But the next time you run into the guy (or, uh, he runs into you,) you have to actually look him in the face and, um, talk to him. Lying is easier in person than talking about feelings. (God, why does this happen so much? Why are there so many lists of choices out there that women can make when faced with this problem?)

Ok, guys, (boys. males.) listen up. If you ask a girl out, proclaim your love for her, etc, and she goes:”…….umm…….”. Well, that’s probably a bad sign. Maybe not. Maybe she’s thinking about your wedding already.

However, if you continue your attempts at wooing her, to no avail, she doesn’t want you to woo her. Stop that.

Don’t keep asking her on dates. Don’t say shit like, “Well, if you won’t answer me today, I’ll just come back tomorrow.” Or, “I can tell that you’re avoiding me. Gee, why are you so shy?”

If a girl wants to date you, if she thinks you’re attractive, she will get with that. Trust me. Trust me, I’m a girl, I know these things. Her avoiding you? That’s not flirting. That’s not a sign to keep at ‘er.

How to let a guy down easy? I have no idea. No wonder Google was so unhelpful! Here’s a better question: Why can’t guys sense when girls are trying to let them down easy?